In Which I Spoil the New Will Smith Movie

So, Hancock. First of all, the title just begs to be giggled at. Heehehe. Cock. Ok, I'm done. Now before I talk about what a disappointing movie it is, let me talk about Will Smith. Damn. That's all.

Fine, there's more. He's hot. First and foremost. He may be my new unattainable celebrity crush. He's also extraordinarily talented at what he does. He is the only actor I can think of who can play a superhero who looks like an actual superhero (and not a skinny little Spidey one, Tobey Maguire) but acts like a regular guy. Albeit, a guy with issues. My point is, I was predisposed to like this film.

Hancock also features Jason Bateman in a very prominent, juicy role that uses his sarcastic wit and non-smarmy smile to full advantage. Bateman was so good on Arrested Development that I've been waiting for him to be given a star vehicle. This isn't the movie, but it comes close. In a couple of scenes he manages to steal focus from both Smith and Charlize Theron, and that is a testament to his talent and his every guy good looks.

And lastly, let's talk about Charlize. I am convinced she made out with the hair, make-up and wardrobe departments, because she has never looked so effortlessly beautiful. Her suburban mom with a secret is underused, and she has a transformation that's as believable as the one she made for Monster, but she does her best.

And now I spoil. Seriously, if you want to see this movie, stop reading.

Charlize Theron is a superhero too! And she and Will Smith are immortal! And married! That is the twist. They have been pulled together and apart for more than 3,000 years, and because of an 80-year old blow to the head that left him with amnesia, Hancock has no idea.

And that is where the movie fell apart for me. What started as a funny, interesting look at what would happen if the ultimate good guy became a boozing, foul-mouthed asshole morphed into a meditation on relationships and fate. Smith and Theron are meant for each other but when they are close together for too long, their powers fade and their mortality makes them vulnerable.

That is the moral of the story. Love makes us vulnerable. It's a good moral, and if the movie had delved more deeply into why the two of them couldn't make it work despite their love being created by a higher power, I might have enjoyed it. Instead, I was left vaguely unsettled and more than a little disappointed.